Arleen B. Wagner (Naber)


Rochester/Irondequoit:  Passed on September 16, 2013 at the age of 97.  Arleen is predeceased by her husband, Aloysius.  She is survived by her daughters, Cindy Cassara & Wendy (Steve) Garbato; grandchildren, Kelly (Shane Brady) Garbato, Stephen, Michelle & Michael; her beloved dogs, Copper & Hash; many dear friends.

In keeping with Arleen’s wishes, her cremated remains will be scattered according to her desires.

Services will be held at a later date.

An offering in her memory may be made to Visiting Nurse Service or St. Ann’s Foundation as her last days were in the hands of these angels.

For more information or to sign Arleen’s guestbook, please visit  Rochester Cremation, 4044 W. Henrietta Road, Rochester NY 14623, 359-2300.

29 Condolences

  1. Mr and Mrs Dan Hulbert on September 19, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    Our deepest sympathy to Arnie’s family. May fond memories see you threw this most difficult time.

  2. Mr & Mrs Robert Bacon on September 20, 2013 at 1:04 am

    Cindy. Our prayers pour out to you and your family. We’re thinking of you. Bob.

  3. Mary and Jeff Boyersmith on September 20, 2013 at 2:14 am

    Cindy, so sorry to hear you Mom passed away.

  4. Kay Verdoorn on September 20, 2013 at 2:56 am

    So sorry for the loss of your Mom. No matter how old we are or how old our Mother it is always difficult to lose them. We have to hold on to the belief they are in a better place and we will see them again one day.

  5. Dan and Marge Judd on September 20, 2013 at 4:24 am

    Dear Cindy,
    We were so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Your memories and the happy times you shared with your Mom may help at this very sad time. We look forward to seeing you soon.
    Marge and Dan

  6. Gary & Linda Sherwood on September 20, 2013 at 11:41 am

    May the love of family and friends get you through this very difficult time.

  7. Ellie and Bill Thornton on September 20, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Dear Cindy:

    Our deepest sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your Mother. We know you all have so many happy memories and will miss her. You are so blessed to have had her in your lives for all these years. We will keep you all in our prayers. We are here for you when you need someone to listen.
    Love you,
    Ellie and Bill

  8. Mary L. Kennerson on September 21, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    Cindy, we’re very sorry to learn of your mother’s passing.

    Mary Lou & Leo Kennerson

  9. Michelle on September 22, 2013 at 1:34 am

    I followed you around for years, your little shadow, watching game shows unfold, hydrangea flowers grow and limburger cheese age. And then one day it seemed as though you were shadowing me. Your tiny frame echoing my steps, smiling at me as I glanced back, supporting me, as I marched forward. Never once questioning where we were going, just happy to be along for the ride.

    The pain I feel holds heavy on my heart. The memories I hold feel like chains, teasers of what once was, but what will never be again.

    I picture you reunited with your daddy, as you dreamt, a young you playing carefree in the daises. Being happy, being free. Free from the body that bound you, free from worry, free from pain.

    Tonight I drink for you and celebrate your life. You live on in us all, Grandma. Forever my shadow, always my heart. I love you. XOXO

  10. angela todaro on September 22, 2013 at 2:40 am

    Cindy to you and your family
    Our deepest sympathy on the passing of Mom.
    Our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
    Angela and Tony Todaro

  11. Linjda Parker on September 23, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Arnie, forever in our hearts
    Galen and Linda

  12. Anne Cisco on September 24, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Cindy – my heart goes out to you and yours at this difficult time. Arnie was such a special, feisty little lady – I especially enjoyed our Sunday nite massages at your house and the pix of you and Hank playing elf and Santa for Arnie and her friends!


  13. Your Little Shadow on September 24, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    “The beauty of a life well-lived never dies. It continues to embrace and inspire us.”

    I’ll always strive to make you proud, Grandma. I love and miss you!

  14. Michelle on September 24, 2013 at 3:53 pm


    You gave Arnie your life, taking care of her with your steadfast loyalty, doing the right thing, exactly the way she would have hoped – exactly the way she taught you to do. This is a lovely tribute to her.

    I know you will miss her dearly, but she lives on in you – through your kindness, your compassion, and your love.

  15. Kelly on September 24, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

    And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

    And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

    And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.

    – Aaron Freeman, “You want a physicist to speak at your funeral.”


    “This is what’ll happen,” she said, “and it’s true, perfectly true. When you go out of here, all the particles that make you up will loosen and float apart, just like your daemons did. If you’ve seen people dying, you know what that looks like. But your daemons en’t just nothing now; they’re part of everything. All the atoms that were them, they’ve gone into the air and the wind and the trees and the earth and all the living things. They’ll never vanish. They’re just part of everything. And that’s exactly what’ll happen to you, I swear to you, I promise on my honor. You’ll drift apart, it’s true, but you’ll be out in the open, part of everything alive again.”

    – Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials


    Goodbye, Grandma. I’d add “rest in peace,” but I’d like to think that your atoms, while finally at peace, are anything but restful: buzzing around the cosmos, bumping into other wayward souls, entwining and combining to form new and beautiful creatures. If, by chance, you happen to run into the other animals, human and non, we’ve lost these past few years – Ken and Floyd, Ralphie and Kaylee, or Shadow and Woody – give them a little love from me.

  16. Chrissy Sippel on September 24, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    We are so sorry for your loss. Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to your family at this very difficult time. Arleen was loved by so many and touched so many hearts. She will be greatly missed.
    All our love,
    Chrissy, Jon & Sienna

  17. Douglas Ashmore on September 24, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    Michelle Garbato and family. I wish your family peace at this time and reflection on all the wonderful memories that came to be having Arleen in your lives.

  18. Kathey Norton on September 24, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    I’m very sorry to hear about Arleen’s passing. I know there are no words to ease the grief felt by the family members left behind, but please know she will be forever in your hearts and memories. Death nor time can take that away from you. My sincerest condolences to her family and friends.

  19. Anthony and Hasmik Hamza on September 24, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    As much as I consider all of you my own family, and the passing of this lovely woman pains me, I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are all going through during this tragic time. I will miss Grandma Arnie very much, but I know she has found peace; and I pray all of you find it too. We are always here for you if you need us. God bless.
    Tony and Hasmik

  20. Bonnie Jean DiNicola on September 25, 2013 at 2:00 am


    Where do I begin? So many years she has been in our lives. I can remember all the nights I stayed over, had Xmas Eve with your family and fell in love with tuna fish sandwiches that Arnie made for me. She always made me feel like I was one of her daughters. All the wonderful memories that are going through my head right now. My heart is with you all. If you need anything, please call. I am only a phone call away.

  21. A Good Death » V for Vegan: on September 25, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    […] Updated to add: After days of refusing food, flitting in and out on consciousness, and (thankfully) doped up on painkillers, my grandma passed away on September 16th. As per her wishes, she will cremated and her ashes scattered, at a later date to be determined. If you’d be so kind, please leave my family a note on condolence here. […]

  22. Kamilah Holloway on September 25, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    To Michelle Garbato and family,

    You have my prayers and deepest sympathy during this time of loss. May you find comfort in the memories you have and the fact that she is now with God.


    Kamilah Holloway

  23. Marlene Shannon on November 16, 2013 at 5:50 am

    LITTLE ARNIE , we had a lot of laughs , great times, it is hard and she’ll be missed for sure..

  24. Bill Dietch on November 21, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    Wendy, I received this notice recently from someone from EHS. I have very fond memories of your mom. I only wished I had thanked her properly for all the hospitality(and food!) she so generously bestowed on me as a teenager.
    I hope life has been kind and gentle to you over the years.
    My sincere condolences to you and your family,

    Bill Dietch

  25. Linda Tenz Parker on December 24, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    Arnie, I am remembering the dear Christmas Eves you shared. Your joy, humor and love will always be remembered. Sending hugs to you in heaven

  26. Linda Tenz Parker on May 18, 2014 at 6:44 pm

    Arnie, had sweet thoughts of you last Sunday (Mother’s Day)

  27. Wendy Garbato on September 21, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    Its been a year now and it is not any easier. I still want to buy your favorite foods and I still talk to you like your going to answer me. I walk into your your room like we are going to do the jumble of the day. I hate change but it is inevitable. I will always miss you. All my love

  28. apai on September 22, 2014 at 4:52 am

    I have very fond memories of growing up in the Garbato household. Grandma Arnie was always smiling, always had something nice to say to me, always interested. Her family embraced me. I am forever grateful.

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