Penfield, NY: September, 26, 2019. Nancy Tuckerman was born in 1943 and grew up in Great Neck, NY. As a child, she enjoyed the outdoors, reading, playing sports, and crewing for her brothers when they took her sailing on Long Island Sound. She attended School of the Holy Child in Suffern, NY, and then Smith College in Northampton, from which she graduated in 1964. After a famous tour of Europe with her cousin Maureen, Nancy worked as an advertising copywriter in New York City. She met her husband, Richard Lord, while they were both working at the Cunningham & Walsh agency. They married in 1969 in a small but eminently classy ceremony held at her parents’ apartment in Manhattan.
Nancy gave birth to twin daughters, Gillian and Melissa, in 1971. A son, Adam, was born in 1980. With the birth of her children, Nancy fashioned herself into a homemaker. She dedicated her time not only to raising her children, but also to volunteer efforts in and around Greenwich, CT, where the family moved in 1974. She was actively involved in the Junior League and with her church, and sought opportunities to use her copywriting and editorial skills to the benefit of worthy causes. Nancy also pushed herself to the forefront of home computer “desktop publishing” technology, and produced award-winning newsletters for a number of non-profit organizations.
In the 1980s, Nancy began pursuing horseback riding, which had held a fascination for her since childhood. Equestrian endeavors defined much of the rest of her days: her social life orbited the barn, and her greatest personal triumphs were her successes in Combined Training, a demanding horse-and-rider triathlon comprising stadium jumping, dressage, and cross-country courses.
After divorcing Richard, Nancy moved to western North Carolina, where her passion for horses found great company in the riding communities of the Carolina Foothills. She kept up her volunteer work, putting in countless hours as a Hospice volunteer and as a Big Sister in the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program, and lending her keen editorial eye to many a newsletter and manuscript.
In 2010, as the sleepiness of small Southern towns made her crave a bit more excitement and the four well-demarcated seasons of her youth, Nancy moved to Rochester, NY to be closer to her daughter Melissa. She found new equestrian communities and also returned to another passion of her college and North Carolina days, studying and playing contract bridge in friendly (but competitive!) clubs.
Nancy died peacefully on September 26, 2019. She will be remembered universally for her keen mind and her devastatingly dry wit. She often unleashed her acerbic humor on the politics and politicians of the day, which she followed zealously. Although she could be intensely private, she was also warm and kind, generous with her time and talents, and devoted to causes and concerns that promote justice, equality, and compassion. She is survived and missed by her three children and six (about to be seven) grandchildren.
She often said the happiest days of her life were the summers she spent with her children in Amagansett, which is where her ashes will be returned.
Donations in her honor may be made to Lollypop Farm, Humane Society of Greater Rochester (https://www.lollypop.org/get-
We weep for Nancy and for all who she loved so much and who are now left behind with your memories and your love for her. This is a beautiful piece of work, a testament to her and all that she did through her life. It is a privilege to have become a small part of her life and of your family.
I met Nancy when she returned to Rochester and she was referred to me by a friend to help her find a home to buy. We bonded over our love of horses and I really enjoyed being with her. I still have a card on my desk that she sent me, along with flowers, when I helped her with something. It reads “A goddess indeed!” That could describe her – elegant, witty and considerate. I hope her families remembrances of her comfort them now and in the future.
I was Nancy’s neighbor, and although I didnt know Nancy well, I enjoyed our meetings at the mailbox or when we met while walking in Sky Ridge. In our conversations, I always enjoyed her unique views not and observations of the world her acerbic wit. One day, a few years ago, she came walking up my driveway, carrying something carefully in her hands. It was a dry, silver, many layered wasp’s nest! She told me she thought an artist should have it. It sits on the console in my front hall and I admire its beauty every day. Today, I was blowing the leaves off my desk and I thought, “I Hope this sound doesn’t bother Nancy. When I came in to read the newspaper, I discovered with sadness, her obituary.
I met Nancy in Tryon, NC in 1997. I was a working student/employee at the barn where she kept her horse. She was a devoted horsewoman. In addition to caring for her pets meticulously, she dedicated many, many hours to volunteering for worthy causes in the area. As a fellow horse and animal lover, she was living the retirement dream in my book. Especially, once she moved closer to her family, and, of course, her grandchildren. I sure missed her when she moved almost 10 years ago. She was a blast to be around, and I enjoyed her humor and our many horseback riding adventures together.
I have loved Nancy since 1956.
I have loved how she always remembered
my family each by name.
I have loved her compassion and support .
I have loved our talks about politics.
I have loved how she loved me.
I shall hold her family tight in my heart.
Xoxoxo to my Dear Friend, Nancy
I miss you.
I have only distant memories of Nancy, but they are indelible ones. In 1961 I married her brother Tuck, and we often visited and stayed at the Shea’s capacious Great Neck home. Nancy was there, and Burke and Tience (Amelia) and Maggie. They kind of became another family important to my psyche, and I found out how important when in 2018 Tience’s husband Bob, and Burke (Gerry) died. I felt pieces of me were falling away. A couple of years ago I found out that Nancy was seriously ill and suffering. I was distressed to hear this and wished that I could help her, but I had lost contact with most of the family—which happens with divorce many times, even though we were married for 20 years, still 1981 slipped way into the past and hard feelings seemed to take the place of connection. I had no knowledge that her suffering had ended and she had joined her loved ones in heaven for the past whole year! It was with considerable shock that I learned of her passing today. Sadness to think of her caring, her vital spirit and poignant expressions of her views were gone from her family and friends on earth—but also gone from my little family of memories that the Shea family formed deep in my psyche. But how joyous I felt that her suffering had ended. And so the day has passed with prayers—sad and thankful to her in heaven—and I hope she received them! One ongoing gratitude I have had has been for the family tree she worked tirelessly over long before I had started mine. She discovered ancestors and things about them that we still would not know now if if weren’t for her. When I started my own tree, (on Ancestry.com) doing my children’s Shea–Tuckerman ancestors was made so much smoother because of her good work. They say when we die, we are greeted by family much more than just friends, so Nancy I hope “they” consider us “family” in spite of the years that have passed since we knew each other “in the flesh” and I may see you soon. God bless you for the good work you did while here, with society and children. And horses!
I. Was surprised to learn that Nancy had relocated to RochesterNY, as I sold my house in Greenwich and moved to the Adirondacks. In 2003. I would have made the effort to go see her.. We enjoyed many events together as my husband. Bob worked for Dick Lord at Lord, Geller, Federico.., but we socialized in Greenwich and Bob played Santa Claus for their children. I stumbled upon Dick.s obituary in the NYT and was saddened to learn of his passing. I don.t know if anyone will see this, but I wanted Gillian. , Melissa and Adam to know that I remembered and cared. I will be 93 in a few months and I have out lived many of my friends, I,m lucky. My love to all.