Pauline Handy

Pauline Handy - Brighton, NY - Rochester Cremation

Pauline Handy passed away on Saturday, November 13, 2021, at the Friendly Home in Brighton where she had been a resident since 2019.  Pauline or “Diddy” as she was known by family and friends was born on August 27, 1926, the third daughter and 4thsurviving child of Warren Leslie “Les” and Rachel Faulkner.   Diddy grew up on Corn Hill in the Third Ward, attended First Presbyterian Church and local public schools graduating from Madison High School in 1944 where she was a member of the Drama Club, the French Honor Society and National Honor Society.  She majored in French at the University of Rochester receiving her Bachelor of Arts degree in 1948.  That summer, she left for France. She returned to the States in November 1948 intending to take a course in French shorthand so she could return to Paris and get a job as a secretary.  Her plans changed after she was introduced to Jack Handy by Ed and Margie Kindig.  They were married on August 26, 1950, and had three children:  Jay, Barb, and Peter.

Diddy was an active member of the Junior League and volunteer for the Rochester Association of the United Nations (RAUN), organized in 1945 to advance and strengthen the goals of the UN in the United States. The organization was renamed the UN Association of Rochester in 1995.  She also volunteered through her Twig for Rochester General Hospital. Diddy was a member of the Chatterbox Club and retained her membership in the Country Club of Rochester after the death of her husband Jack in 2006.

In 1998, Diddy and Jack established the John W. and Pauline Handy Endowed Book Fund at the University of Rochester to provide funds for the purchase of library materials that would advance teaching goals and address the interests of faculty and students.  They wrote,  “We believe that books are the nourishment of the mind and the soul. It’s a pleasure to be a source of this nourishment through the John W. and Pauline Handy Book Fund.”

In addition to her many outside interests, Diddy was a devoted homemaker for her husband and three children.  She was an avid tennis player known for hitting a slice that would drop right over the net out of reach for most opponents.  She learned to love the ocean from summers spent in Wellfleet and Maine as a young girl and relished the time she spent with her family in Longboat Key, Florida, Cancun, Mexico, and most of all, in the family home on Martha’s Vineyard.  She could finish any jigsaw puzzle without looking at the picture, loved card games and was a proficient bridge player.  She regularly challenged her grandchildren to beat her at pounce keeping a running score they could rarely beat. She encouraged her children and grandchildren to follow their dreams and own their mistakes.  Above all, she insisted they have good table manners.

Diddy was predeceased by her husband Jack of 56 years and her son Jay.  She is survived by her daughter Barbara (Rob) Pahl, son Peter (Christine) Handy grandchildren John (Emily) Handy, Scott (Courtney) Handy,  Sara (Joe) Srebalus, Beth, (Tim) McArdle, Andy (Katherine) Pahl, Luke and Noah Handy and 10 great grandchildren, the youngest born just two days before her death.  Diddy will be remembered for her independent spirit, her feisty manner, her love of chocolate and red lipstick!  Donations in her memory should be made to the John W and Pauline Handy Endowed Book Fund at the University of Rochester Library or to the Handy Family Charitable Fund at the Rochester Area Foundation. A celebration of life will be held in 2022.

My Mother never fully recovered from hip surgery she had in early August.  Her death brought her peace and relief after weeks  At 95 years of age, my brother and I always hoped she would die peacefully in her sleep.  But if her last few days are any indication, there was nothing peaceful about her death.  Peace and relief came with her death.

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